painfulxistence (painfulxistence) wrote in razortag,

yet another update....wooo

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i don't know.
i feel like everything isn't real.
i'm not real
like this isn't even happening.
i have no touch on reality anymore.
i'm kinda freaked out.

but anyway.
went to the gym ran a mile and did some weight training.
the usual.
not enough though

bought some soymilk.
100cals per 8oz.
going to have that every morning cos i'm extremely calcium deficient.
i almost black out often.

i hate myself.
i know that's cliche.
but honest to god.
i hate myself.
and am i even in existence?
does this exist?
maybe i'm talking to myself.
i think i'm getting worse.
sometimes i think my hands are disappearing
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